I'll be out of town for a couple weeks and probably won't be able to blog. In the meantime, The Gravedigger will keep you entertained here. (The over-under on number of posts she'll probably write is one; I'm taking bets.) Also, be sure to check out some of the nifty sites in the blogroll down in the right corner.
German artist Richard The tied shopping bags to the subway grate along Broadway in New York:
1. Walk along the Green Line in Manhattan (going from the 1st to the 125th street, from the Financial Disctrict [sic], through China Town, Midtown, Spanish Harlem, Harlem). 2. Collect bags from the stores, which are situated in the street above the subway tracks. These should be representative of their specific neighbourhood. 3. Install 7 shopping bags, representative of the Neighbourhoods which are crossed by the line, above the subway's air shaft (ideally the combinations of these bags should tell a story already). 4. Once the train passes by the bags are pushed into the air by the air flowing through the tunnel and the air shafts, forming an ephemeral sculpture, making the existing forces visible and at the same time visualizing the Green Line in a regional social economic way.
This concept was realized by 90% as I was too optimistic about the weight of the plastic bags - it was impossible to have a readable installation even though many bags had been collected.
The New York Times has long been known as the Gray Lady because of, as Wikipedia puts it, "its staid appearance and style." Something about American newspapers lends itself to nicknaming, but many local papers are not graced with as elegant a moniker as the Times. Readers, out of sense of local camaraderie, and staff, out of self-deprecation, often carve their paper's good name into a disparaging statement about its content. With colorful plays on official names, cities across the U.S. pithily criticize their papers' perceived boringness, fluff, political slant, or tabloidism. Can you figure out which nickname fits which newspaper?
Match the city or state to its disparaging nickname. Feel free to guess in the comments, but no posting URLs.
1. Arizona 2. Arkansas 3. Atlanta 4. Austin 5. Charlotte 6. Dallas 7. Fort Worth 8. Honolulu 9. Omaha 10. Orlando 11. Philadelphia 12. San Francisco 13. Seattle 14. St. Louis 15. Virginian 16. Washington
A. American-Realestatesman B. Comical C. Compost D. Demagogue E. Dirty News F. Disturber G. Morning Snooze H. Pile-it-on I. Post-Disgrace J. Repugnant K. Slantinel L. Startlegram M. Starts-Bulls***tin' N. Timid O. Urinal-Constipation P. Weird-Harold
This map, caught by Flickr user littlebudapest (via Strange Maps), apparently adorns a wall at the Niketown store in San Francisco's Union Square (or at least did during the All-Star Game last month). It divides the United States (and part of Canada) into thirty "countries" (and a large swath of unincorporated mountains and desert) defined by the fan base for each of the thirty Major League Baseball teams. The boundaries seem fairly accurate, at least from my experience (I haven't spoken with that many people in the South, for instance, but I gather from country music that much of it is Braves Country, as reflected here).
As the Flickr photo commenters point out, one glaring omission are the diasporic fans who inhabit the West: some territories, according to anecdotal evidence, follow a specific team from the East Coast or Midwest, even though not everyone in the territory ventured from that team's country. If the commenters are to be believed, much of Idaho prefers the Mets, for whatever reason, and I recall that in the days before expansion delivered the Diamondbacks Arizona was Cubs territory (and remains so for contrarians).
Alright, listen closely. I'm not going to beat around the bush. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Your little body's changing; it's all good, believe me. Problem now is, every time we jerk the gherkin, we get a lot of unwanted sticky white stuff everywhere, right? Right. So, first order of business: no more socks. They're expensive, gumming up the works plumbing-wise. Now you might be thinking to yourself, "But, Uncle Andy, what do I do with all that pearl jam if I can't spew it into Mr. Sock?" Glad you asked. You can have a lovely time tugging the tiger in the shower each morning— that eliminates the need for a goo glove. But, the day is long, masturbation's fun, so unless we want to take four or five showers every day, we're gonna need some other options here. So let's start with the basics: Tissues. Perfectly acceptable backstop for all that creamy Italian. They can be rough and dry on such soft, sensitive skin, not to mention it can stick to your dick head like a f**kin' Band Aid— ouch. From there we move on to more lubricated flack-catchers, specifically, bananas. Step one: Peel the banana. Step two: Slip the peel over your Randy Johnson and start pitching. Now for extra credit, warm up the peel in the microwave. Not too hot! Serious yowza. Also, olive oil, moisturizer, honey, spit, butter, hair conditioner, and Vaseline can all be used for lube. In my opinion, the best lube—is lube. So save your allowance and invest in some soon. Alright, moving on: When you tug your Thomas on the toilet— pft— shoot right into the bowl. In bed, soft t-shirt, perhaps a downy hand towel of your very own that you don't mind tossing after tossing. There's no such thing as polishing the raised scepter of love too much. It reduces stress; it enhances immune function. Also, practice makes perfect. So work on your control now, while you're a solo artist— you'll be playing some long, happy duets in the future. Okay, class dismissed.