Thursday, May 18, 2006

Random Movie Quote Thursday

Brian
Where do I begin?
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner
from Belgium
with low-grade narcolepsy
and a penchant for buggery.
My mother was a 15-year old French prostitute
named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink.
He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark.
Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy—
the sort of general malaise
that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical.
Summers in Rangoon,
luge lessons.
In the spring we'd make meat helmets.
When I was insolent,
I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds.
Pretty standard-really.
At the age of 12,
I received my first scribe.
At the age of 14,
a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles.
There's nothing like a shorn scrotum
it's breathtaking; I suggest you try it.

Indexed by tags movies, quotes.

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