"If you can't cry . . . fake it," which, I mean, why have the ellipses? And then there's the stupendous:
"Free drinks, why not?" This is either a sentence fragment or a run-on sentence or both. Either that, or it's a really bizarre word order for "why not free drinks," which I don't think it is. I wish they'd used a dash rather than that dreadful comma. They should have saved the comma for the fake crying one. People should spend a full year in high school on the comma, or at least on Wedding Crashers posters.
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