Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Zombie Dogs


This article from news.com.au about recent successful efforts to reanimate dogs who have been clinically dead for hours unfortunately leaves out a few of the details, which I have taken the liberty of supplying:

Pittsburgh's Safar Centre for Resuscitation Research has developed a technique in which subject's veins are drained of blood and filled with an ice-cold salt solution.

The animals are considered scientifically dead, as they stop breathing and have no heartbeat or brain activity.

[The animals are then taken to be buried in the pet cemetary. However, rather than stopping there, the scientists go beyond the pet cemetary into the ancient burial ground of the Micmac Indians. Animals buried there have been known to come back to life.]

But three hours later, their blood is replaced and the zombie dogs are brought back to life with an electric shock.

[Though the dogs were jovial before their death, they seem to be "a little dead" after the resurrection. They are surly and unpleasant.]

Plans to test the technique on humans should be realised within a year, according to the Safar Centre.

However rather than sending people to sleep for years, then bringing them back to life to benefit from medical advances, the boffins would be happy to keep people in this state for just a few hours.

[After the people return from the Indian burial ground, scientists expect that they will go on a murderous rampage, slicing Achilles tendons with scalpels, before ultimately being put down by the father that loved them so very much.]


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